Animeblanca
by xpongecola
Summary: One-Shot parody of Looney Tunes' Carrotblanca, a parody of Casablanca. But instead of Looney Tune characters, we have anime characters!


**This one-shot is a parody of Carrotblanca, a parody of the movie, Casablanca. But instead of Looney Tunes characters, this parody will feature various characters from different animes but most of them are cameo though.**

**The main cast includes Kenji Kazama from _D-frag!_ as Rick Blaine, Umi Sonoda from _Love Live! School Idol Project_ as Ilsa, Chizuru Tachibana from _Kimi to Boku_ as Sam, Buggy the Clown from _One Piece_ as ****Major Strasser, Happy from _Fairy Tail_ as Ugarte, Katsuki Bakugo from _My Hero Academia_ as ****Victor Lazlo and Vinsmoke Sanji from _One Piece_ as ****Captain Louis.**

**I'm sticking with their anime names though.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters featured in this chapter.**

One night at North of Africa in the early 1940s. At a radio station somewhere, we see a shadowy figure of Hizashi Yamada also known as Present Mic shouts frantically.

"Attention, I say, attention, all listeners, hear this, I say, hear this. A German scientist has been knocked unconscious by a large frying pan!" Present Mic reported.

The camera then focuses on a car driven by Tsumugu Kinagase, carrying General Buggy the Clown who listens the radio announcement.

_"An important document has been stolen! That is all."_ Present Mic ended his report.

The general then points toward the road before it heads through a town called Animeblanca. In the town, we see various people walking around a hotel named Café Au Lait which includes Tsunayoshi Sawada walking alongside Hanayo Koizumi, Naruto Uzumaki dragging a camel behind him and at one corner of the hotel, we see an angry Ryuuko Matoi beating the living daylights of Ichigo Kurosaki and Natsu Dragneel.

Happy flies around with worried looks before flying towards the Café Au Lait. Inside the cafe, we see Elfman Strauss acting as a doorman with Sasuke Uchiha as maitre d', we then see Chizuru Tachibana in the middle playing a piano while the waiter, Touma Kamijou dances while doing his work at the same time. Among the patrons are Hei whom is eating a large plate of pasta at one table, Izuku Midoriya and Akko Kagari sharing one table having dinner, Zoro Roronoa can be seen at another table and from the far back, we see Guts at one table while enjoying the music.

Happy then flies inside the cafe alongside Honoka Kousaka while being greeted by Elfman before flying pass everyone including Chizuru whom is singing while playing the piano at the same time.

_"Who's got trouble?"_ Chizuru sng.

_"We've got trouble."_ the patrons sings back.

_"How much trouble?"_

_"Too much trouble."_

_"Well, don't you frown just knuckle down and knock on wood.''_ Chizuru sang as he brought out a hammer and hits his head three times, _"Who's unhappy?"_ he sang.

_"We're unhappy."_ the patrons sang back.

_"How unhappy?"_ Chizuru continues.

Happy then flies forward passing-by Subaru Natsuki drinking a wine. Happy then finally lands on a stool of a bar near him before sighing of relief, "Made it!" he said as the Exceed turns to call out for someone, "Mr. Kazama, Mr. Kazama!" he called out in concern, "I need to speak to you about something!" he claimed.

The camera then focuses on a shadowy figure grabbing a pocky stick from one glass, this figure is revealed to be Kenji Kazama.

"Yo... what'a up?'' Kenji greeted while mimicking Bogart.

"Mr. Kazama, I need your help!" Happy said as he shows the document, "The German Army is chasing me and I need you to hide that important document I recovered from them." he explained, "It's for somebody who was sent here to make a better life for America and..." he says but Kenji spoke.

"That is the document swiped from that sucker?" Kenji pointed out.

"Aye... I won't lie... ehehehehe..." Happy admitted while speaking and laughing like Peter Lorre. Happy then reverted back to his normal self, "Well, this was from the American Army and they requested me to recover it." he explained.

Kenji frowns at him as he waves his finger around, "Whoop-de-doo!" he replied sarcastically.

"He'll be here tonight with a pretty lady." Happy claimed.

Kenji gasped, "A dame?!" he exclaimed as snatches quickly the document, "Well, in that case, I'll take that document." he cheered.

Then Katsuki Bakugou and Umi Sonoda enters the cafe and were greeted by Elfman and Sasuke, Happy took notice of this.

"That must be them." Happy pointed out before looking at them once more, "It is them! Ehehehehe...'' he confirmed while chuckling like Peter Lorre.

As Katsuki and Umi continues to walk, passing a table where Honoka Kousaka and Eren Yeager are at. Umi held onto Katsuki cautiously when they passed-by Captain Vinsmoke Sanji, Umi caught his attention which made him smirk.

The camera then focuses on Katsuki, pulling up a chair for Umi. However, Captain Sanji quickly snatches Umi, nearly lying her down in his arms, despite her struggling.

"Bonjour, mademoiselle." Sanji greeted, "Tell moi, do you come here often?" he asked as he begins kissing Umi or at least trying to as she dodges while Katsuki looks angrily at Captain Sanji.

"Hey! Get your hands off her, you little stinker!" Katsuki demanded, "Can't you see she's taken?!" he exclaimed.

Umi then raised her fists, surprising Captain Sanji, before the two get into a small tornado with punches being heard. Then a punch sound is heard, sending Captain Sanji out of the tornado, being knocked to the wall.

Sanji sighed, "She is shy, non?" he said with a smile.

A knocking sound is heard from the door as Elfman turns and prepares to open it. However, it slams open as a familiar car drives in, opening briefly, showing the flattened Elfman.

"Duh, table for two?" Elfman said in daze with some of his teeth fell out from his mouth.

Then the car stops as Tsumugu gets out to open the car. Out comes Buggy on an escalator steps while Tsumugu blew his bugle horn. Buggy comes toward Bugs, whom only eats another pocky stick.

"I'm General Buggy the Clown, the meanest, nastiest, high salutenist soldier in this animal army." Buggy introduced himself rather loudly.

"Does your mother know you're out this late?" Kenji asked nonchalantly.

"I've got word you've had that important document, you dinner jacket-wearing varmint!" Buggy exclaimed.

"Gee, Greta, where'd you hear that?" Kenji asked without a care.

Buggy reaches into his jacket, glaring, "Let's just say a little birdie told me.'' he chuckled as he placed Happy on top of the bar table, much to Kenji's disbelief.

Happy turns to Kenji, "Hehe... you despise me, don't you? Hehe..." he said like Peter Lorre.

"I want that paper, and I want it now!" Buggy demanded as Happy zips off.

The camera then focuses on Kenji reading a newspaper, "Paper?" he chirped as rolls the paper and shows it to Buggy, "You want this paper? he asked while waving the paper, "Well here ya go, boy." he said as Buggy grinned and began to pant like a dog. Kenji then stood near an open door with a staircase which leads to the basement, "C'mon. Get the paper!" he whistled as he tosses the paper to the basement with Buggy following it. Just then, a chicken is heard clucking as well as hitting and crashing as Kenji closes the door before walking away, chuckling in satisfaction.

Back with Katsuki and Umi, a waiter named Gray Fullbuster then walks pass them, " Oh waiter." he called out but was ignored, Touma then walks pass their table, "Uh waiter." he called again but was ignored as well. This irritates Katsuki, "Somebody!" he exclaimed slamming a fist on the table, making Umi flinch, "We demand some service!" he demanded slamming another fist on the table. He then turns to Umi with a calm look, "I'll be right back, my dear, with refreshments." he said before getting up from his seat as walks off.

The camera then focuses on Chizuru, with an ice pack on his head, who returns to the piano. He starts to play while Umi smiles.

"Long time, no see, huh, Chizuru?"Umi spoke.

Chizuru turns to her for a minute before doing a double take upon realizing who she is, "Yipes!" he quipped as he ducks down a bit, then peeks, looking at her. He then gets down on his knees and pleads a bit to Umi, "Please don't hit me, miss!" he begged.

"Relax, Chizuru, I'm not Erza." Umi reassured, "Anyway, will you please play a certain song for me?" she requested.

"I hope you don't mean that Knock on Wood song." Chizuru pointed out, "I've got a splitting headache." he said.

Umi smiled, "You know, my favorite song." she replied,

Chizuru turns to the audience with an annoyed look, he then played one key when Kenji zips next to him with a glare.

"I thought I told you never to play that song." Kenji scolded.

"Me? You think I wanted to play that?" Chizuru asked.

Chizuru then zips to Umi's table, he then pointed a finger at her, "She made me do it! It was her, her, her!" he exclaimed as he ducks under the table, bringing out signs pointing to her with many words saying _Her_ and one labeled _Not me_, much to Umi's disbelief.

Kenji gasped upon setting sights on Umi, "Umi?'' he spoke her name as Umi looks up, smiling to him.

Kenji's face twitches as everything fades into a flashback montage.

_In the past, Kenji was driving while Umi was looking at the beautiful scenery. He yawned, placing his arm on her shoulder, much to her notice. Then, as Chizuru's hands were playing, it showed both Kenji and Umi are dancing together at a place called The Coconut Groove. Then, it showed the happy couple having a romantic dinner, clinging their glasses._

_Finally, it showed Kenji in a trench coat waiting at the train station before noticing Chizuru carrying a huge stack of luggage reaching for the ceiling. Kenji looked confused, becoming concerned._

_"Where's my dream boat?" Kenji asked in confusion._

_Chizuru then came out from a bag, showing a letter to him, "She sailed solo and left this note!" he replied in annoyance._

_Kenji took the letter from Chizuru, yelping, collided with all the items landing onto him, "Gah!" Chizuru yelped._

_Then, a bowling ball landed on Kenji's foot, "Ooh, that smarts!" he yelled in pain as he held up his foot and hopped in pain a bit._

_"Well, maybe if you didn't bring so much junk!" Chizuru grumbled._

_"Hey, give me a break!" Kenji replied as the foot started throbbing a bit before it stopped, Kenji groaned a bit as he recovered. Then the minute he opened the letter, he looked stunned at what he read. As he read it, something that appeared to be rain started dripping down onto the letter._

_"**Dear Kenji, I cannot go with you. We're different, you and I. Remember, we'll always have Pongo Pongo, Helsinki, Pismo Beach and Timbuktu."** Umi's voice said._

_Unknown to him, Chizuru was trying to spray some water from a fountain to a passing girl named Mio Akiyama, though it failed. Kenji only looked stunned and perhaps a bit heartbroken and twitched at what he read as the flashback ends._

Later that night at the cafe, Kenji is holds a small glass of wine with a frown and red eyes, Chizuru is sitting right next to him.

"Of all the juice joints in all the towns in all the countries in all the world, she picks this one. I can't believe it." Kenji muttered in complaint.

Chizuru frowned, "Ah, get over it, Ken-Ken." he said, "Everyone has awkward things from the past come back to them every now and then." he pointed out, "But I know what you mean." he claimed snatching the bottle of wine, "I had a girl once. Unfortunately, she dumped me for a handsome rich guy that is part of a host club because she said something about being too into myself!" he exclaimed.

Kenji looks at him in surprise, "You? But you're so friendly." he pointed out, "Despite you always being annoying and loud." he muttered.

"I know! That's what I kept telling her!" Chizuru exclaimed as he drinks three glasses of wine, rapidly.

Suddenly, the door opens, shining a light on them as Umi enters the cafe.

Chizuru then zips next to her, "Hit the road, sister!" he demanded with a glare.

Umi was taken aback by his aggressiveness making her frown, "Why, Chizuru! I only came in to see a friend." she exclaimed in disappointment, "But if you want to get so rude and attack people with remarks so uncalled for, I'm afraid I'll have to let you have it!" she said she raises her fists at Chizuru, shocking him.

Chizuru backs away from fear, "But earlier, you said..." he tried to say.

"The script says I'm not allowed to punch you, but I'm opening an exception this time, since you deserve it." Umi said.

Outside the cafe, we see Hinata Hyuuga and Lelei La Lalena having a conversation when they heard the sounds of punching and Chizuru's screaming. Chizuru was then kicked out from the place and landed next to the girls, whom looks at him in confusion.

Chizuru looks up, "Ow." he said before taking out a notebook and pencil, and starts writing on it, "Note to self: never do anything to anger Umi." he reminded to himself.

Back inside, Kenji who just witnessed what happened, only smirks, "Not so friendly now, are ya?" he mused.

Umi then comes toward Kenji with a worried look, "Kenji, my old friend, I need your help." she cried, "They've arrested Katsuki." she said, "General Buggy thinks he knows something about that stolen document." she stated.

"I stick my spiky orange hair out for no one, not even former acquaintances." Kenji replied, "So just forget it, sister." he said.

Umi looks at him confused, "Former?" she repeated, "Oh please, Kenji, I'd really appreciate it if you went down there and sort out this whole mess." she begged as tears began to fall down her face.

Kenji turns to the audience with a bummed look on his face as his head was briefly replaced by a sucker.

Later that night at the police station, we see General Buggy pacing back and forth as Katsuki sat on a chair while Captain Sanji leans on a desk.

Buggy then stops pacing as he glares at Katsuki, "I want answers and I want 'em now." he demanded.

Katsuki frowned, "Look pal, how many times must I keep telling you, Meat Breath? I don't have that so-called document!" he exclaimed.

"Ha! You really expect me to believe that?" Buggy mocked.

Suddenly, they heard the door open, they all turn to see Kenji standing by the doorway.

"Gee, you're all having a barbecue and didn't invite me?" Kenji mused.

Buggy glares at him, "Butt out, Twinkle Toes. I'm interrogating this suspect." he demanded as Captain Sanji tiptoes away from the scene.

"Take it easy." Kenji spoke, "I'm just here to help, but so you know, you're going about this all wrong, Buggy." he pointed out, "Allow me." he said turning to Katsuki, "Excuse me, Katsuki." he pardoned as he got Katsuki off the chair before placing Buggy on the chair. Kenji disguises quickly as an Irish officer, "Isn't it true you hated Jolly Ryan for stealing your girl?" he asked with an Irish accent, "We're onto you, Buggy, so ye might as well confess." he demanded.

Buggy began to sweat nervously, "Wait, I can explain!" he squawked.

Kenji then dashes off, reappearing quickly behind Buggy dressed like a child with a big lollypop, "That's him, mommy." Kenji spoke in a child-accent, "That's the mean old man who popped my balloon and then bit me.'' he pointed before crying as Buggy began to wipe the sweat on his forehead. Kenji then hits him with the lollipop before quickly going behind, reappearing dressed as a lady with brown hair, "That's him, officer.'' he pointed out with a feminine voice before frowning, "Oh, you brute!" he said as he swings an anvil-shaped purse, hitting Buggy and knocking a tooth out.

"Ugh..." Buggy moaned in daze as Kenji dashes off. Buggy hears a gavel pounding before looking up, seeing Kenji, dressed as a judge, glaring sternly to him.

"General Buggy, how do you plead?" Kenji asked with a serious accent.

" I'm guilty! I'm guilty!" Buggy cried in panic as he dashes to an opened cell, locking himself in.

Kenji chuckled, "Well, that's taken care of." he mused taking off his disguise. He then turns to Katsuki and Captain Sanji, "Now, Mr. Katsuki has a plane to catch." he pointed out.

Buggy then realized that he got tricked as he glares at Kenji and Katsuki as they walks away.

"Why, that little, ungrateful-he tricked me!" Buggy complained, "I cannot believe that bastard triumphed over me for once!" he exclaimed, "How could things possibly get any worse?!" he said. He then realized that he is sharing the same cell as Hidan, Dr. Stylish and Gilgamesh, all three are glaring at him. Buggy felt like a mouse in fear, "Oh man... this is really not my night." he gulped.

The scene then changes to the airport, where a taxi arrives before out coming are Happy, Chizuru, Katsuki, Umi and Kenji in his trench coat and hat.

"Now, Katsuki, I believe I have something you're looking for.'' Kenji spoke as he shows him the document.

"So you had this. Well, thanks for holding onto it." Katsuki said grabbing the document. He opens it, looking inside it. The document has plans of making a funny-looking glasses with mustache and prop nose, "Hmmm, this is going to make me rich!" he said with a smile.

_"Attention! Flight 428 to Toronto, New York City and Cucamonga! All aboard!"_ the announcer said from the intercom.

Kenji began to head out. However, Umi stopped him, "Kenji, I don't know if I can leave you again." she admitted.

Kenji turns to her, "Listen, Umi, if you don't go with him, you'll regret it." he said, "In this crazy world, the lives of three people or animals, in this case, don't amount to..." he tried to say but Katsuki interrupted by grabbing Umi's right arm.

"Yeah, yeah. Fill the greens, fill the greens. We know. Gotta go. Gotta go." Katsuki said impatiently as he drags Umi to the plane.

The camera then focuses on Umi being dragged to the plane as Katsuki prepares to enter.

"Say goodbye, Umi dear." Katsuki advised.

Umi waves her left arm, "Goodbye!" she said before getting pulled inside the plane as Katsuki closes the door.

The plane then took off as Kenji watches it flies away.

Kenji sighed, "Alone again." he muttered.

"Don't worry, Kenji." Happy reassured, "Things will change in the future." he pointed out.

"Exactly, pal." Chizuru agreed, "Someday you two will be together again." he said.

The scene then transitions inside the plane, showing Katsuki smiling and chuckling at the funny face get-up before Captain Sanji, now dressed as a flight attendant, coming near him and Umi.

"So, coffee, tea or moi?" Sanji asked to Umi with a smile.

Umi yelps, quickly shoving him aside as she dashes to the emergency exit. Umi jumps out with a parachute as she screeches, heading downward. She lands safely onto some cargo that had been left behind and lands on the ground, with Kenji noticing. The two smiles to each other, embracing each other and kissing as the parachute goes off and covered them.

"Here's looking for you, kid." Kenji mused as the two moves around under the parachute.

Meanwhile, Happy and Chizuru looks at them for a minute before walking off.

"Let's give these two some privacy." Chizuru said.

"Chizuru, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship... ehe... ehehehehe..." Happy said with a Peter Lorre laugh as the chapter iris out with him.

**And one-shot is done! I had fun writing this, so I would probably write another one. Whether it be another Looney Tunes parody or another cartoon is up to me to decide.**


End file.
